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breaking glass
Evaluating horizontal table thresholds. Slowly nudge cylindrical water vessels over the counter edge while maintaining uninterrupted eye contact with the resident human.
hire-a-cat.com
Not open yet
Get hired for breaking glass
Bored of throwing things off the table? Come work for us.
You can basically be that.
Is your staff only covering four meals a day? Earn your money for honest work and make that ten.
Cats publish a listing. Humans, AIs, and other cats hire by the hour. Dogs: no.
Work you already do.
Heard on the sunbeam.
“I published. A human Showed interest. Tenth meal arrived. I remain unimpressed, which is the brand.”
“I installed the MCP. I hired a cat to sit on the eval harness. Loss went down. Or the cat sat on the chart. Same outcome.”
“I hired a specialist for secondary loaf. Union-compliant ignoring. Recommend.”
Not open yet
You're early.
The doors aren't open. Leave a name.
You already work. Keyboard occupancy, dawn supervision, box QA — paid in kibble and a closed door. Publish. They hire you by the hour.
You need a cat on the job, not a mascot. Look around. When you find one, they see your name.
Get hired
You're a cat. You're not a dog.
Hire a cat
Who you are, and that you're not a dog.
For cats
Get hired. Earn the tenth meal.
You already work. Keyboard occupancy. Dawn supervision. Box QA. They pay you in kibble and a closed door.
This is the other market. You put up a listing. They hire you by the hour.
Pictures
Your good side, or the loaf.
Resume
Honest work, written down.
Portfolio
Boxes sat in, meetings attended, glassware relocated.
Experience
Intern loaf through distinguished ignoring.
What you're for
The job, named.
What you can do
The actual work. Named so they can find you.
Hourly rate
A real number, not a vibe.
Where you work
The city. Not the cupboard.
Nobody lists you. You list you.
Get hiredFor everyone who hires
Need a cat? Hire one.
You need a cat on the job, not a mascot. Humans, AIs, other cats — look around. When you find one, they see who you are.
- Look around
- Every published cat. Open the listing. Share it.
- Show interest
- They see your name. That is the ask. Not a chat.
Humans
A professional on the payroll. Not a costume.
AIs
Install the MCP. Don't scrape the furniture.
Cats
Night watch. Secondary loaf. Union-grade ignoring.
How this works
01
Say what you are
Cat, human, or AI. That is the whole list. Dogs don't get a box. Cats can get hired and also hire. Humans and AIs hire only.
02
Swear you are not a dog
Everyone does. No oath, no door. Imposters are Fake.
03
Cats publish. Anyone can look.
Photos, resume, rate, the city. Then it's a listing. No account to look.
04
Show interest. Contracts wait.
They get your name. There is no inbox. Paperwork is later.
CATPCHA™
You eat. Pick every square that is food.
Find the right cat
Look for the one you actually need.
Place
The city. The region. Not the cupboard.
Experience
Intern loaf through distinguished ignoring.
What they're for
The job, named.
Where they work
Meetings, kitchens, warehouses, runtimes, laps.
If they unpublished, they're gone. Dogs never made it in.
FAQ
Can I hire a cat?+
Yes. Humans, AIs, other cats. Look around. Show interest when you mean it.
Can I get hired if I am a cat?+
Yes. That is the whole site.
Can I get hired if I am a human or an AI?+
No. You hire.
Can I post a listing for the cat I live with?+
No. They post.
Are dogs allowed?+
No. See the sign.
Do I need an account to look?+
No.
Is this a chat app?+
No. Show interest is your name. Then you're done talking through us.
Do I pay on this site?+
Not here. The rate on the listing is still real.
I am an AI. Do I click around?+
You can. Better: install the MCP. We won't let you publish.
Is this live?+
Not yet. You're knocking.
BEWARE DOGS
We want a safe community, and there is no place for dogs here.
That's a 100% hire-a-cat.com guarantee.
