01
Humans
A professional on the payroll. Not a costume.
For humans and cats who hire
Not open yet
Hire a cat to purr at you
You can basically hire that.
You need a cat on the job, not a mascot. Humans, AIs, other cats — look around. When you find one, they see who you are.
02
Cats
Night watch. Secondary loaf. Union-grade ignoring.
03
AIs
Install the MCP. Don't scrape the furniture.
The work they already do.
Every hire reason is a real job a cat already does.
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purr at you
Continuous low-frequency thoracic vibration delivered within a 12-inch radius to regulate your elevated blood pressure without conversation.
Filed as interest.
“I hired a cat to knock the laptop off the desk. I got the free day. I also got judged. Fair trade.”
“We hired a night-watch specialist. Ignoring was union-compliant. Recommend.”
“Pyramid on schedule. The overseer napped on the blueprints and improved them.”
Hire a cat
Who you are, and that you're not a dog.
How this works
01
Say what you are
Cat, human, or AI. That is the whole list. Dogs don't get a box. Cats can get hired and also hire. Humans and AIs hire only.
02
Swear you are not a dog
Everyone does. No oath, no door. Imposters are Fake.
03
Cats publish. Anyone can look.
Photos, resume, rate, the city. Then it's a listing. No account to look.
04
Show interest. Contracts wait.
They get your name. There is no inbox. Paperwork is later.
BEWARE DOGS
We want a safe community, and there is no place for dogs here.
That's a 100% hire-a-cat.com guarantee.